New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize