i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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