So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
