How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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