i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
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New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
soo... how was my night?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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