i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
