Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
