She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
