Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
