i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They took my balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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