If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
