she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
