So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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