well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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