the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He better not be in your backpack
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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