So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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