haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
