That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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