i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
