Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
