Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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