Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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