some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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