How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My feet surprised me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
