he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
