if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
