when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
