Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize