I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
