just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
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