i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
