He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
