biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
we should paint friendship bongs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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