I wanna bring you to show and tell
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
