no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
