I am in a vortex of obligation.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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