I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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