we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
