No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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