"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
