dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm at about main and main street
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
