you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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