If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
