this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just google imaged poop.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
