If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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