Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
