Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
