I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize