why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
