After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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