So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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