I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
whose parrot is this?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
