Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
