That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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