You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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