It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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