If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
