why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize