I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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