Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
