butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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