i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
