Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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