ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
