Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
