she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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