How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
