Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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