in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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