living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
